cracked paint

Between the monotony of excel documents and the photocopy machine, even momentary meaningful conversations feel like cool breaths of air. And in this 90 + degree weather, the coolness is as essential to life as the air. Someone called today to set up a workshop for women in prison. Our conversation probably lasted about 10 minutes but she was real. I mean, she talked to me like I was human and she expressed emotion and frustration about the situation her organization was facing. Why is it that in a movement which theoretically reclaims the humanity of all people, we still need to relate to each other in such a fake way? I didn't even realize I was doing it too until I talked to her and felt relief. I also did not realize how much I prefer words to numbers. I knew it, but it was never relevant. It's probably the change of temperature from the heat outside to the air-conditioning in the cafe I'm in now (I still don't have internet in my house) that is making my fingertips feel dry, but it feels like it's the databases and numbers that have been occupyingmy brain all day. My fingers feel dry like they were dipped in pale grey paint and left to dry in luke-warm air till the paint stuck and cracked. Like their creativity has been stifled. The minute I allowed my fingers to touch a keyboard, metaphor started to come out (see two sentences ago!), like it was waiting behind some kind of floodgate for me to let it free. I don't want it to sound like I'm complaining. I'm not. Just philosophizing and blogging and wondering about things. Like why do we have to live in a world where my situation- having a job with a salary I can live on that I don't reallyreally hate- is a rare privilege? And like how am I going to go back to Palestine if I only have 20 vacation days/year? And if I go to Palestine, then how am I going to go to San Francisco to see all of you? See, questions, questions. But it isn't complaints. I mean, I know this work has to get done. I only wish it could all happen in poetry, over beers, and after 11am.