this is supposed to be my new blog that's about new york, not about Palestine.
you might not guess that from this entry...but it is, i promise.
walking down the beach with a good childhood friend of mine...
"I don't call it Palestine, I call it Israel because that's what it is on the map. It's not political. It's just that what it is on the map," she says.
my stomach turned over when she said that. because it was her who said it. and because part of it was true. that is what it is on the map. what isn't true is that it's "not political." it reminds me of when i accidentally asked my students to find Palestine on our classroom globe, forgetting that they won't be able to find it. 'actually, i'll show you where it is,' i had to correct myself.
I know I said a million times that this was part of my reason for coming back. Working within my own community, the one I grew up in, friends and family I grew up with...But I had this idea that I would do that work by doing presentations and workshops for the synagogue I went to as a kid, or for my old high school, or by organizing meetings or educational events...as E and I walked down the beach and she made the above comment, it felt painful. but something also clicked in that moment. this is the "work" i was talking about. it's painful, it sucks, and it makes me want to scream. but there are many more painful things in the world. so i know i have to learn how to navigate these situations in an effective way, without compromising my own understandings of the world, but also without alienating the friends and fam i'm trying to work with. how do i communicate my completely anti-zionist stance to someone while simultaneously understanding that for her, this "i guess i don't really take a side on the issue, both sides are wrong," is a step forward from "wherever we stand we stand with israel," which is pretty definitively her mother's standpoint. and that bombarding her with the anger which feels like it's welling up in the back of my throat, ready to pounce, is not a good idea. then we will only fight. and she will be able to dismiss everything i say as "too angry." it's a process. a long, frustrating, but hopefully useful process. a process i realize i am suddenly embedded in, and will be for as long as i'm here...
okay, maybe people want to know the rest of what i've been doing since i've been here. it's just, there isn't much. i landed alright, although the plane ferried around Oakland airport for an hour before it took off because of some sort of delays on the New York end. immediately, of course, i was seeing, smelling, feeling, and hearing New York. traffic, people yelling, cars honking, smog and pizza, hella stress, you know, all that. i didn't really taste new york till this morning when i ate a bagel n cream cheese. mmm. i've spent time with family, i finally switched my phones back (so the 415 # is my correct # again), i went with my mom to buy my brother a birthday present, stuff like that. and of course, i saw my friend last night.
tomorrow i leave for "summercamp," which is not actually summercamp, but more like a giant camping trip with over 100 people of all ages for about 10 days (a friend's family and their friends organize this every summer). except the camping trip also includes workshops (some historical, some political, some creative, some random) and basically the people on it are a bunch of old communists and their families, which is kinda fun.
after that i go to the bds institute and then the social forum- sooo excited about that!
so i probably won't post again for a while. i don't wanna be one of those people who can't let go of her virtual world despite all the wonderful people at her side...but feel free to leave me comments while you wait for the next "episode" of my blog.
